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So, international priss Tom Ford gave an interview to AnOther Magazine, wherein he outlined his Five Easy Lessons for a Modern Gentleman (which aren't really lessons at all, but directives). Let's see what he has to say.

1. You should put on the best version of yourself when you go out in the world because that is a show of respect to the other people around you.

2. A gentleman today has to work. People who do not work are so boring and are usually bored. You have to be passionate, you have to be engaged and you have to be contributing to the world.

3. Manners are very important and actually knowing when things are appropriate. I always open doors for women, I carry their coat, I make sure that they're walking on the inside of the street. Stand up when people arrive at and leave the dinner table.

4. Don't be pretentious or racist or sexist or judge people by their background.

5. A man should never wear shorts in the city. Flip-flops and shorts in the city are never appropriate. Shorts should only be worn on the tennis court or on the beach.

You'll have to excuse us, kittens, there's something caught in our throats ... we just have to clear... *WOTTAJACKASS!*

There.

Oh, Tom. You ridiculously insulated man. Who in their right mind, given the current extremely scary worldwide economic situation would type the words "People who do not work are so boring?" Here's our rebuttal: Fuck you.

Now, it's pretty obvious he's talking about the idle rich with that quote, and really, one could go so far as to say all the directives here are aimed at the idle rich. Fine. Call it Tom Ford's Five Easy Lessons for the Idle Rich, then; in which case, he could have simply emailed it to the dozens of people his rules apply to instead of having it published for the world to read.

Opening doors for ladies and presenting your best self to the world are fine, if not particularly original points, but of course, the one that got the most press was Rule #5, regarding shorts and flip-flops. Now, we understand where he's coming from here. Modern life has gotten unattractively casual in the last couple of decades and people don't seem to subscribe as strongly to the idea of putting a little effort into how they present themselves. We were in a restaurant yesterday for brunch and there were two men seated in undershirts. We judged them harshly. T-shirts we could have accepted, but undershirts crosses the line.

And sure, one could argue that men, if they want to wear sandals, should put a little effort into clipping their toenails, dealing with any fungal issues, and sanding down whatever callouses built up over the winter. That's a different argument than "Never wear flip-flops except at the beach."

In fact, before you jump in to say "He's right! Man-toes are ugly!" ask yourself what your reaction would be if Tom Ford's Lessons for Ladies included a rule that women should not expose their legs or feet unless they are on a beach or tennis court, no matter how hot she may get.

We think flip-flops are the sneaker of sandals and should be worn very sparingly in a city environment. We have a little rule: if we're in the city but more than three blocks from our house, flip-flops are out. They're fine for a quick run to the store or to pick up your dry-cleaning, but they are, for the most part, throwaway shoes (at least the varieties that the majority of men wear) and should only be worn at throwaway destinations.

As for men never wearing shorts except at resort destinations, we have a few questions for Tom. When was the last time you were on public transportation? When was the last time you walked more than 5 continuous city blocks? When was the last time you were in a car that wasn't a luxury car? When was the last time you were in a building without air conditioning? When was the last time you didn't have assistants to run around in a hot city doing all your menial work? Shut the fuck up.

Oh, that last one wasn't a question, was it? Well, Tom, consider it a "lesson" from those of us who haven't been living an extremely pampered and insulated life for the past two decades.

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Labels: Lack of Perspective, Prissiness, Tom Ford


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