Mike Tyson Tattoos

Darlings, it was the Time 100 Gala, Time magazine's party for the 100 Most Influential People In The World (which sounds like something a Bond villain would shout) in New York City. Most Beautiful Woman in the World Jennifer Lopez was not invited, nor was the Sexiest Man Alive, Ryan Reynolds. Strange. Apparently being the most beautiful or sexiest person on the planet does not result in much influence. J Lo and RyRey? You bitches are doing it wrong.


We give her credit for trying something that isn't the usual one-shouldered ruffle-y cocktail dress, but this isn't working. The skirt is kind of interesting, but that top is a mess.


Our Facebook peeps said she looked like The Little Mermaid. We thought she stole something from Alexis Mateo's closet. Is this a classy, stylish look? No, not really. Pure drag. But it's something of an improvement for her.


Typical for Chris.


Atypical for Darren. Someone's been coaching him. No goofy poses; no ironic shoes or sunglasses. Well done.


Man, Oprah really doesn't give her much of a clothing budget, does she? It's always voluminous satin-y dresses that look like they belong in a David's Bridal window.


That's an interesting print and color palette but we don't think it suits her skin tone. The dress is kind of shapeless on her to boot.



Cute, if standard. She needs a better-fitted bodice because you just know she spent the night hiking that thing up.


Oohhhhhh, sweetie. That's no good at all. We spent the first several seconds blinking in astonishment because we thought she wasn't wearing any pants. Ladies, if "flattering" is a dirty word to you, then wearing a top and pant combo that cuts you in half along with a giant jacket that obliterates the rest of your shape is definitely the way to go. Also, capri pants and big pointy-toed shoes are an excellent way to further throw off the proportions of your body. And finally, just to make it as awkward as possible, throw on a gigantic string of freshwater pearls to draw the eye further upward to the linebacker shoulders created by your jacked and carry a teeny-tiny 5-year-old's play purse to make you look like a giantess.

[Photo Credit: getty, wireimage]


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Labels: Fashion, Red Carpet